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Love finds people, not gender.

For many women, coming to university is a great opportunity to explore their feelings about sexuality. It is impossible not to bring with you some preconceptions, but here you will find people who are questioning the "norms" that you may have previously accepted. Not all the women you meet will be working out their sexual identity, but if you are, you're not alone!

Heterosexuality

Many people assume that everyone is 'straight' unless they state otherwise, that is, the term sexuality only seems to be used when a person is \"an exception to the rule\" of heterosexuality. Of course, heterosexuality is a sexuality in itself that brings with it all the problems of any relationship. Some people may have problems reacting physically and emotionally to anyone who are close to them. Others may have problems when they and their partner have different ideas about what is acceptable in their relationship and what is not.

Bisexual Women

For many women this is a positive life choice. What being bisexual doesn't mean is being undecided, sitting on the sexual fence, being promiscuous, having twice as many partners, being straight or gay and too scared to admit it, or sleeping with women to please your boyfriend. You should feel welcome at all LGB meetings and events.

Lesbians

Coming out as a lesbian isn't the easiest thing in the world. There are so many stereotypes to contend with; the figure of a butch, ugly, man hating, shaven headed, militant and muscular lesbian is the commonest. But it is only a stereotype, superlative in all its falsehood and error. You're a lesbian if you fancy women - the rest is up to you!

Coming out.

When you're coming to terms with your sexuality and beginning to make noises about it, you may find problems with what and how you tell people. Saying, "I am X" or "I am not Y" may label you more than you like, as the boundaries between such categories are very vague. It is important that you find an identity that makes sense of your sexuality for yourself.

There is no correct way to come out. Some women do it kicking and screaming, some do it gradually and others tell just a few people and keep it at that. There are others who tell no one, suppressing their real feelings. Even though it seems like the most difficult thing in the world, coming out can be one of the most beautiful, liberating, and joyful things you'll ever do. And there is support available for you while you do it.

'Coming Out' *A Personal Account from a past Women's Officer

Coming to university can be daunting enough, but if you are * like I was * trying to live your life as who you think people want you to be, rather than who you know you are, it will be more difficult. I come from a small northern town where prejudice is rife, so it was extremely hard to be a person who would face persecution. I had known for years that I am a lesbian, but living in the small northern town, with a middle class family who pride themselves on being 'normal' and 'upstanding', I had battled hard to deny it. Then I came to university to start a new, independent life and the extent to how much happier and stronger I am is obvious to all my friends who have helped me so much.

The friends that I have made at university come from various backgrounds and are all so different but special in their own ways. They all have varying beliefs and values, which adds diversity to a situation. Through many discussions between us, we have all experienced a vast increase in knowledge, friendship and respect, due to the fact that we are honest and open about how we are feeling and what we want.

Everyone comes to university feeling nervous and apprehensive due to many different factors, but because everyone is adapting themselves to their new independent lives, it is the ideal time to decide if you want to improve your life. Some people may come to university being very shy for example, but because no one knows them and does not have any preconceived ideas about them, they may make a conscious effort to be bolder and more confident. This will probably give them more respect for themselves and make them a happier, more content person.

In my case, I was able to admit to myself how I was feeling, and to know that I wasn't the only one, helped a great deal. The LGBT society at university can also help because it is a place where people can go and talk to others in a similar situation and enjoy socialising and talking freely. In my case, I also told my friends one by one and they were all fantastic. They didn't treat me differently, they weren't negative, they were just happy for me. Saying this though, there will always be people who will remain small minded, but these will be the minority and with the help and support of good friends, it will be made easier and it will be worth it. So if this article is ringing true to you in any way, believe me, you are in the best position, place and time in your life to do something positive about it. I did, and I am now happy, confident, but most important of all, I now respect myself.

If you want to talk to someone about issues of sexuality, sexual preference or coming out then contact the women's officer in the union building or on ext.92197. Alternatively you can get in touch with the LGBT society who would be happy to talk to you at any time. You can find them at the Fresher's Fair or contact them on sulgbt@lancaster.ac.uk or go to www.yourlgbt.tk